In Their Own Words: clients tell their stories

Maggie's Story (from Beating Overeating)

There have been many benefits I’ve received from doing Gillian’s course, but there’s one that surprised me and this one has been a real joy. The reason it surprised me is because I had become so accustomed to the constant complaining in my head, a sort of whining to myself in the background or sometimes in the foreground of my thoughts, but never going away for very long. I was continually moaning to myself about what I ate and how I looked and how it wasn’t at all like I wanted it to be. It was like going through life with someone whispering in your ear, you’re a failure every minute of every day. It was only when I noticed it had gone that I realised it had been there, if you know what I mean. I don’t think it’s gone completely, I should say, but it’s quite different now.

I did not like the idea of eating being an addiction, so that took some getting used to. It seemed much too judgmental and harsh. But it did give me a way to get out of this mental whining that things are not like how you want them. It comes down to that fact that you can’t continue to justify overeating and stop overeating at the same time. It sounds so obvious now that I’m writing this down, but that’s what you really want, isn’t it? You want the best of both worlds; overeating and no consequences. So the thing for me was to ask myself if this really is the way I wanted to live and am I likely to get the consequences I’d want to live with later on.

The thing I find most helpful is planning your meal before you start eating and I always do this with my evening meal. I have a little conversation with myself, checking if this really is what I want to eat and how much. I’m clear about it before I start eating and then I can be clear about it when I’ve stopped, because I always want to go on after I’ve finished. So then I think, that’s what the addiction wants to eat, it’s not what I want.

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